As the calendar turns toward a new year, many people feel pressure to set New Year’s resolutions—often focusing on what needs to change or improve. While goal-setting can be helpful, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers an alternative that is both grounding and effective: noticing what went right. This DBT-informed practice supports self-validation, emotional balance, and sustainable growth without relying on self-criticism as motivation.
Moving Away from Resolution Pressure
Traditional New Year’s resolutions often emphasize deficits—what wasn’t accomplished or what should be different. For many individuals, this approach can unintentionally increase shame, all-or-nothing thinking, and emotional burnout.
DBT encourages a more compassionate starting point. Before deciding what comes next, individuals are invited to reflect on effort, resilience, and progress already made. This shift supports emotional resilience and reduces the cycle of self-judgment that can undermine long-term change.
What Does “Noticing What Went Right” Mean in DBT?
In DBT, noticing what went right is an intentional practice of identifying moments of skillful behavior, effort, or persistence—even when outcomes were imperfect. It is not about ignoring challenges; rather, it is about holding a balanced and accurate view of lived experience.
Examples include:
- Using DBT skills during emotionally intense moments
- Showing up consistently despite stress or uncertainty
- Maintaining routines, boundaries, or relationships
- Continuing forward during periods of emotional difficulty
This practice strengthens DBT self-validation by acknowledging that responses make sense given the circumstances.
Why Self-Validation Is a Core DBT Skill
Self-validation is essential for emotional regulation and long-term behavioral change. When individuals recognize their efforts and accomplishments, they are more likely to:
- Reduce shame and self-criticism
- Improve emotional regulation
- Build confidence in coping abilities
- Approach future goals with clarity and realism
By noticing what went right, individuals develop a foundation of self-respect that supports growth without pressure.
Reflection as a Healthier Reset for the New Year
Rather than beginning the year with rigid resolutions, DBT encourages reflective awareness. Helpful reflection questions include:
- What challenges did I navigate this year?
- Where did I show strength, flexibility, or persistence?
- What skills did I use, even imperfectly?
This approach promotes self-compassion, acknowledges emotional complexity, and allows motivation to emerge from appreciation rather than criticism.
Noticing what went right does not mean avoiding change—it means grounding change in understanding and compassion. By reflecting on accomplishments and effort, individuals can enter the new year with emotional balance, confidence, and a realistic sense of progress.
For those interested in strengthening self-validation and applying DBT skills in daily life, in-person DBT skills groups are enrolling for 2026, and availability is limited. Early outreach is encouraged to explore current and upcoming group options at Valley DBT.
