How Radically Open DBT Builds Openness and Social Connection

By Wendy Douglas, LCSW, MSPH
Radically Open DBT

At San Fernando Valley DBT in Sherman Oaks, CA, we recognize that strong self-control can sometimes become so rigid that it limits emotional expression, flexibility, and closeness with others. Patterns of overcontrol may look disciplined on the surface, yet they can also make it difficult to share feelings, receive feedback, or build closeness.

Through Radically Open DBT, we focus on helping our clients notice these patterns and practice more open, flexible ways of responding. At our Sherman Oaks, CA practice, we use structured therapy and practical exercises to support changes that can make everyday interactions feel more genuine and connected.

How Can Overcontrol Affect Emotional and Social Connection?

Overcontrol can shape relationships in subtle ways. At our Sherman Oaks, CA practice, we may see emotional restraint, intense attention to rules, excessive caution, or a tendency to remain distant when closeness feels uncertain. These habits may also limit spontaneity, emotional sharing, and mutual understanding.

Emotional Inhibition Can Create Distance

When feelings are routinely held back, communication can become less clear. A calm exterior may not reflect what is happening internally, and important emotional signals may never reach others. Through RO DBT for overcontrol, we help our clients become more aware of how inhibition can influence connection. Our goal is expression that is genuine, appropriate, and easier for others to understand.

Rigid Thinking Can Limit Relational Flexibility

Rigid thinking can affect how disagreements, changes, or unexpected reactions are handled. When one response feels like the only correct response, it becomes harder to consider another perspective or adapt when circumstances shift. We use Radically Open DBT to create room for curiosity. By examining automatic rules and expectations, we can practice greater flexibility while still respecting personal values and boundaries.

Why Is Emotional Openness Important in Relationships?

Emotional openness helps relationships carry more useful information. At San Fernando Valley DBT, we focus on the ways expression, responsiveness, and willingness to be seen can influence trust. It involves developing the ability to communicate internal experiences in ways that support understanding and reduce unnecessary distance.

Making Internal Experiences More Visible

Our work with DBT for emotional openness can include noticing when emotions are concealed, minimized, or expressed in ways that do not match the internal experience. We practice bringing awareness to facial expression, tone, posture, and words because communication happens through more than verbal content. Clearer emotional signals can make interactions feel less guarded.

Supporting Trust Through Authentic Communication

Trust often develops through repeated experiences of clear, responsive communication. We help our clients explore how cautious or highly controlled responses may unintentionally communicate disinterest, criticism, or distance. By practicing more authentic signals of interest, warmth, uncertainty, or care, we create opportunities for relationships to become more reciprocal and connected.

How Does Radical Openness Encourage Greater Flexibility?

Radical openness involves a willingness to question familiar responses and consider information that may not fit existing assumptions. In our Sherman Oaks, CA work, we encourage our clients to approach feedback, uncertainty, and new experiences with curiosity. This creates space to learn before defending a familiar position.

Becoming More Receptive to Feedback

Feedback can feel threatening when maintaining control is closely tied to feeling safe or competent. In Radically Open DBT, we work on noticing defensive reactions and slowing the impulse to reject information immediately. We practice considering whether another perspective contains something useful. This can make conversations more collaborative when differences arise.

Adapting Responses to Changing Situations

Flexible control allows behavior to change with context. We help our clients examine whether a familiar response fits the current situation rather than relying on the same rule every time. A response that works in one setting may create distance in another. Practicing flexibility makes room for adjustment without requiring the loss of structure.

Learning to Express Emotions More Openly

Emotional expression is a central part of connection because people rely on social signals to understand what is happening in an interaction. At San Fernando Valley DBT, we help our clients identify the gap that can exist between internal emotion and outward communication. We then use structured practice to make expression more responsive and socially informative.

Paying Attention to Social Signals

Tone of voice, eye contact, facial movement, posture, timing, and gestures can all affect how a message is received. In our work, we pay attention to these signals because overcontrolled communication can sometimes appear more closed than intended. We practice recognizing what is being communicated nonverbally and exploring small changes that can make interactions feel more welcoming and engaged.

Practicing Expression Without Losing Balance

Greater openness is not the same as reacting without thought. We support balanced expression that allows emotion to be present without letting it control the entire interaction. Through DBT for emotional openness, we can practice naming feelings, showing appropriate vulnerability, and allowing others to respond. These skills support communication that is both thoughtful and emotionally available.

Building Social Connection Through RO DBT

Social connection grows through repeated moments of openness, responsiveness, and shared understanding. With RO DBT for social connection, we focus on patterns that may interfere with those moments, including guardedness, excessive self-monitoring, and reluctance to reveal uncertainty. Our work in Sherman Oaks, CA provides a structured setting for examining those patterns and practicing alternatives.

Moving From Distance Toward Engagement

When maintaining control becomes the priority, social engagement can become secondary. We help our clients notice moments when they withdraw, conceal reactions, or rely on formality instead of genuine participation. By experimenting with more responsive behavior, we can create more opportunities for warmth, humor, shared emotion, and mutual interest. These shifts can make interaction feel more relational.

Creating Conditions for Meaningful Belonging

Belonging involves participating in ways that allow connection to develop. We emphasize openness, receptivity, and appropriate emotional signaling because these qualities can help relationships become more mutual. Our aim is to support the capacity to engage with others while remaining grounded in a clear sense of self.

Practical Ways RO DBT Helps Challenge Rigid Patterns

Insight alone does not always change a long-standing pattern. At San Fernando Valley DBT, we pair reflection with structured practice so new responses can be tested in everyday life. Radically Open DBT gives us a framework for noticing automatic behaviors, examining what maintains them, and practicing alternatives that support flexibility and connection.

Questioning Automatic Rules

Overcontrolled patterns may be reinforced by internal rules about how emotions should look, how mistakes should be handled, or how much uncertainty is acceptable. We practice identifying these rules and asking whether they fit the present situation. This can loosen rigid expectations and make it easier to choose a response based on current needs instead of habit.

Applying New Responses Beyond Sessions

The value of practice becomes clearer when skills move into ordinary conversations, relationships, and daily decisions. We encourage our clients to notice opportunities to respond differently, remain open a little longer, or communicate more directly. Repetition matters because flexibility develops through experience. Each attempt provides information for future interactions.

How Greater Openness Can Strengthen Relationships

As emotional signals become clearer and responses become more flexible, relationships can have more room for trust and understanding. In our Sherman Oaks, CA practice, we connect this work to everyday moments that shape closeness: receiving feedback, handling disagreement, showing interest, acknowledging emotion, and staying engaged when an interaction feels uncertain.

Allowing More Room for Mutual Understanding

Openness makes it easier to learn what another person means instead of relying only on assumptions. We practice curiosity when interpretations become rigid and encourage attention to new information as conversations unfold. This can reduce misunderstandings and support responses that better fit what is actually happening in the relationship.

Building Closeness Through Consistent Practice

Meaningful connection usually develops gradually. We help our clients approach openness as a skill strengthened through repeated use rather than a single dramatic change. The goal is not perfect communication but a greater capacity to remain present, responsive, and connected.

Radically Open DBT in Sherman Oaks, CA

At San Fernando Valley DBT, our work with Radically Open DBT is designed for patterns of overcontrol that can interfere with openness, flexibility, and social connection. From our Sherman Oaks, CA practice, we provide a structured therapeutic setting where these patterns can be explored without treating them as personal failures. We focus on how control functions and where a different response may create room for connection.

A Structured Approach to Openness and Connection

Our approach combines therapeutic guidance with skills practice so learning can move beyond discussion. We help our clients examine emotional inhibition, rigid responses, social signaling, and patterns of distance while developing practical alternatives. This gives us a clear way to work toward emotional openness and stronger interpersonal engagement while respecting the pace of change.

Moving Toward More Open and Connected Relationships

Radically Open DBT can create space for a different way of relating to emotions, feedback, uncertainty, and other people. At San Fernando Valley DBT, we use this work to help reduce the barriers that overcontrol can place between internal experience and social connection. Greater openness does not require giving up self-control. It involves learning when control is useful and when flexibility may better support the moment.

At our Sherman Oaks, CA practice, we remain focused on practical, structured support for emotional openness, flexible responding, and meaningful relationships. When rigid patterns begin to soften, communication can become more genuine, and connection can become easier to build and maintain. To learn more about our Radically Open DBT services or discuss getting started, contact San Fernando Valley DBT today to connect with our team.

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Radical Acceptance is a Skill Taught in our DBT Groups

If you are someone who is highly sensitive and struggles with emotion regulation, this group might be a good fit.  Also, if you have frequent interpersonal conflicts or simply want to be better at managing your relationships, DBT would be very helpful.

Wendy Douglas, LCSW, MSPH

Wendy Douglas, LCSW, MSPH

Wendy Douglas, LCSW, MSPH has been practicing DBT for 14 years. She was intensively trained in DBT at Harbor UCLA in 2006 while she worked at L.A. County's Edelman Westside Mental Health Clinic providing DBT services for more than seven years. She completed her Advanced DBT Training under Shari Manning and Kate Comtois in 2017. She holds a Master of Social Work from UCLA and a Master of Science in Public Health from Tulane University in New Orleans. Wendy founded San Fernando Valley DBT in 2012. She currently has private practice locations in Beverly Hills, Sherman Oaks, and Woodland Hills where she specializes in seeing teens and adults with emotion regulation disorders. Wendy is also a certified Anger Management Therapist. She currently sits on a DBT Team with a number of other experienced therapists and offers DBT trainings for therapists all over L.A.
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