Emotions are powerful sources of information. Fear can alert us to a possible threat. Anger may tell us that something important feels blocked or unfair. Sadness can help us recognize a loss. Emotions influence our attention, prepare our bodies to respond, and motivate us to act.
However, our emotions do not respond only to observable events. They also respond to what we believe those events mean.
That distinction is at the heart of Checking the Facts, an important DBT emotion regulation skill.
Checking the Facts helps us pause, separate observations from interpretations, and determine whether an emotion—and its intensity—fits what is happening. It does not ask us to deny our feelings or talk ourselves out of them. Instead, it helps us understand our emotional response more clearly so we can choose the most effective next step.
Facts, interpretations, and emotional intensity
Consider this example:
You send a message to someone important to you. Several hours pass without a reply.
The observable fact is simple: the person has not responded yet.
Your mind may immediately begin filling in the missing information:
- “They are angry with me.”
- “I must have said something wrong.”
- “They are ignoring me.”
- “They do not care about our relationship.”
Those thoughts may produce anxiety, shame, sadness, or anger. You might send several additional messages, withdraw from the relationship, or respond defensively when the person finally calls.
But what else could be true? The person could be working, driving, sleeping, caring for someone, or simply planning to respond when they have more time.
Checking the Facts does not require you to choose the most optimistic explanation. It asks you to recognize that your first interpretation is not necessarily the only possible interpretation.
How to practice Checking the Facts
1. Name the emotion
Begin by identifying what you are feeling as specifically as you can.
Rather than saying, “I feel bad,” ask whether you feel anxious, disappointed, ashamed, lonely, angry, afraid, or something else. Naming the emotion can help you slow down and observe it without acting on it immediately.
You can also notice how strong the emotion feels. On a scale from zero to 100, how intense does it feel?
2. Identify the prompting event
What happened immediately before the emotion began or became stronger?
Describe the event as though a camera had recorded it. Focus on observable details rather than conclusions about another person’s motives.
For example:
- Observation: “My friend looked at their phone while I was speaking.”
- Interpretation: “My friend thinks I am boring.”
The first statement describes something you could observe. The second assigns meaning to it.
3. Notice your assumptions
Ask yourself what interpretations, predictions, or assumptions you have added to the facts.
Are you assuming that you know what another person thinks? Are you predicting an outcome that has not happened? Are past experiences influencing how you understand this situation?
Our minds naturally try to make sense of incomplete information. Recognizing an assumption is not a reason to criticize yourself. It is simply an opportunity to examine the situation more carefully.
4. Consider other explanations
Try to identify at least one or two other reasonable interpretations.
The purpose is not to force positive thinking. It is to widen the lens. When we recognize that several explanations are possible, the first story our mind produced may begin to feel less certain.
You might ask:
- What information could I be missing?
- How might someone else describe this event?
- Have I experienced a similar situation that had a different explanation?
- What would I say to someone I care about if they were in this situation?
5. Examine the perceived threat
If you are afraid, ask what specific outcome you believe is likely. Then consider both the likelihood of that outcome and your ability to cope if it did happen.
This is not about pretending that difficult outcomes are impossible. It is about evaluating them clearly rather than allowing uncertainty to become certainty.
6. Ask whether the emotion fits the facts
An emotion may fit the facts, but its intensity may not.
For example, disappointment may fit when plans change, but an emotional response of overwhelming despair may be connected to additional assumptions or earlier experiences. Both the emotion and its intensity deserve compassionate attention.
What happens after you check the facts?
Checking the facts helps determine which response is likely to be most effective.
If the emotion fits the situation, you may need to:
- Solve a problem.
- Ask for clarification.
- Set a boundary.
- Seek support.
- Take action to protect yourself or someone else.
- Allow yourself to experience and process the emotion.
If the emotion does not fit the facts—or its intensity is not effective for the situation—you may benefit from using Opposite Action. This DBT skill involves gently choosing an action that moves in the opposite direction of an unjustified emotional urge.
Checking the Facts and Opposite Action work together: first understand the situation, and then choose how to respond.
Checking the facts is not invalidating yourself
People sometimes hesitate to use this skill because they worry it means telling themselves that they should not feel what they feel.
That is not the purpose.
Your emotional experience is real. Checking the facts simply recognizes that feelings, facts, and interpretations are related but not identical.
Two truths can exist together:
- “I am experiencing a strong emotion.”
- “I may not have all the information yet.”
This is a dialectical approach: honoring your internal experience while remaining open to a fuller understanding of the situation.
Building the skill through practice
Checking the Facts can be difficult when an emotion is already very intense. It often becomes more accessible through repeated practice in less emotionally charged situations.
Try using it when you notice mild irritation, nervousness, or disappointment. Write down the observable facts, identify the story your mind added, and consider another possible explanation.
With practice, this process can create more space between an emotional experience and an impulsive reaction. That space makes it possible to respond with greater clarity, effectiveness, and self-respect.
Learn DBT skills with Valley DBT
DBT skills are not designed to eliminate emotions. They help people understand emotions, tolerate difficult experiences, communicate more effectively, and make choices that support meaningful change.
Valley DBT provides structured, evidence-based care through comprehensive DBT programming, individual therapy, and DBT skills groups for teens and adults. Our compassionate clinicians help clients learn and apply skills within a secure, collaborative, and professional environment.
Contact Valley DBT to learn more about our programs and determine which services may best support you or your family.
This article provides general educational information and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care.
Works cited
Linehan, Marsha M. DBT Skills Training Manual. Revised Edition. Guilford Press, 2025.
